


Men of the Normandy

by Vorcha_Girl



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Love, Photo Shoots, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:52:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6117003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vorcha_Girl/pseuds/Vorcha_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The men of the Normandy are roped into doing an all male calendar shoot to raise money for war orphans. Kaidan is a little unsure at first, but he soon gets the hang of it thanks to a little help from Gina Shepard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Men of the Normandy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tlcinbflo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tlcinbflo/gifts).



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_Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect_

**A/N – This fic is for one of my best friends, the lovely author TLCinbflo. We came up with the idea for this story late at night on chat and, though it took me the better part of a year, I finally got around to writing it. TLC, thanks for being an amazing friend. I really can't say how much your friendship and support has meant to me, only that you make me a better person and I'm so grateful to have met you.**

**I hope everyone enjoys this story! The wonderful cover art of Kaidan was done by ME4fan on DA.**

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The smile on Gina Shepard's face was enough to drive a man wild. Kaidan had seen it a million times before; that little half smirk that went hand in hand with dimples and sparkling ocean-green eyes. It was a mischievous, impish smile that implied she was thinking of wicked things, and right now it was aimed straight at him as he tugged on the hem of his t-shirt and fidgeted while waiting for C-Sec to clear them through security.

Apparently she found his discomfort at being asked to take part in an all-male photo shoot on the Normandy _very_ amusing indeed.

Kaidan sighed and shrugged his jacket on as they waited. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable with his body, or that he didn't want to take part in the photo shoot, it was just that the invitation had been somewhat vague, even if it had been signed off on by the Alliance. If the rest of the crew hadn't jumped behind the idea of doing a photo shoot to raise money for war orphans, he might have been tempted to say no.

As it was, he wasn't even sure what would be required. The request had included example photos of shirtless men flexing in poses that were reasonably tasteful, but had stated they hoped to utilise weapons, biotics and the Normandy herself in their photographs. Gina had been surprisingly enthusiastic about the idea, and was thrilled at the chance to do something to help with moral in the war.

Others, such as James and Cortez, were even more excited than Gina had been, and they'd helped whip up a frenzy of excitement on the Normandy. Even Garrus and Javik, who had been hesitant at first, had allowed themselves to be caught up in the excitement of the photoshoot. In fact, the only person who seemed less enthusiastic than him was Traynor, who'd complained endlessly about the sexist nature of an all-male calendar.

"Don't worry, Kaidan." Gina grinned as they were cleared through security and finally allowed into the Normandy's airlock. "You're not the only volunteer for this little charity venture who's feeling a little nervous. But it's all in good fun, and if you really don't want to do this you don't have to."

He shrugged, uncomfortable with the thought of being the only senior officer on board who _didn't_ take part in the calendar. Besides, maybe it would be as easy as taking off his shirt and posing for a few photos, nothing untoward and nothing too risqué.

He followed Shepard through the CIC where lights had been set up near a terminal and a salarian photographer was taking test shots of a flustered Joker – who was wearing his BDU bottoms, his hat and little else. He swallowed, trying to imaging flexing and posing in suggestive ways and failed dismally as his cheeks flamed with heat at the thought. Gina caught his eye and winked, seeming to read his mind.

"Don't worry, you'll be amazing," she whispered as she ushered him into the elevator. "You're the hottest on board by far."

He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "You're biased."

Gina raised an eyebrow and stepped forward, raking her eyes over his body before meeting his gaze. "Oh believe me, I _might_ be biased but you're still the hottest man on board." She slid her hands over his shoulders and went up on tiptoe to kiss him gently, pulling away with a small sigh. "Mr. Tall, dark and handsome."

He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face at the look in her eyes, and he willingly followed her out of the elevator and into the shuttle bay … and stumbled upon a scene that was almost enough to send him scuttling from the Normandy and back to the relative safety of Shepard's apartment on the Citadel.

The photographer down here had set up near some weapon creates and there, posing nude and with only a strategically placed assault rifle to maintain his modesty, was James Vega. His tan skin glistened under the lights, as though they'd rubbed oil over him, and he flexed repeatedly, his muscles rippling impressively as he basked in the attention he was receiving.

"Yes, yes! Like that! Hold that pose! A little more flexing. Hmm, turn your hips, no no, the other way. Yes. Good." The human photographer danced around him snapping shots, his attention riveted to his impressive subject.

Vega looked up and grinned when he saw them watching. "Hey Lola." He winked and wiggled his eyebrows. "Did you come all the way down here to see little ol' me in the flesh? You didn't have to you know. All you have to do is ask and I'll give you a free seat at this gun show." He flexed one arm as if to demonstrate the power of his _guns_.

"Hardly." Gina snorted derisively and cast and obviously critical eye over James. "Hmm, you know, I'm surprised you're using such a _petite_ assault rifle. The way you talked, I'd have thought you'd need a Cain to keep yourself covered."

Kaidan laughed before he could stop himself and James feigned a look of hurt.

"Oh Lola, you wound me. My poor masculine pride can't take these kind of slings and arrows from you." James threw another wink at both of them and then went back to posing, seeming not to notice as Cortez slunk over to watch.

A woman with a clipboard appeared beside them and smiled brightly. "You must be Spectre Alenko." She held out a hand and Kaidan shook it, his skin prickling as she held on a little too long and gave him a flirty smile. "If you could step this way, we have your armour and gun all ready."

"Armour?" He asked Gina as she walked with him. "I thought I'd be in my BDUs?"

She shrugged and smiled a little wider. "I guess not, but armour sounds pretty hot to me."

The woman led them to the armoury where his Alliance armour, or rather _part_ of his Alliance armour, was laid out. Kaidan twitched as Gina began to snicker, as he hesitated before reaching out and going through the outfit they'd decided to photograph him in. The lower half of his black under armour was there, as were his boots, knee guards and thigh guards. But apparently the only thing he'd be wearing on his top half were gloves, one gauntlet and his shoulder guards.

His face flamed red as he handled each piece of armour and then turned to face the woman with the clipboard. She set a sniper rifle down on the table, ticked off something on her clipboard and flashed him another smile.

"There. If you could dress and bring the gun up to the CIC, they'll be ready to photograph you in just a few minutes." She turned to leave and Kaidan cleared his throat.

"Uh, I don't normally use a sniper rifle." He picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

"Oh!" She giggled. "It's more about giving you something long and hard to hang onto. You know, the phallic appeal." The assistant winked at him and vanished out the door.

Kaidan's mouth fell open and Gina erupted into giggles.

"Your face," she laughed. "That look is priceless! I never thought I'd see you looking so uncomfortable at hanging onto a gun."

"Shut up," he mumbled gruffly and began to strip before he lost his nerve.

He shed his clothes quickly, passing them to Gina who folded them neatly and set them aside. Then he pulled on his black under armour, the slinky fabric clinging to him like a second skin. He buckled on his armour plates and then bent down to pull his boots on, pausing to glance behind him as Gina drew in a quick breath.

"What?" He asked as he turned to face her.

"You're so damned attractive," she murmured, glancing at the door to make sure they were alone. "And you're looking especially hot at the moment. You really do have a very fine ass, Spectre Alenko."

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him and gazing up with a delightfully sexy look in her eyes. Kaidan dipped his head and kissed her, letting his hands wander lower and sliding them along the curve of her ass.

"I'm kind of looking forward to seeing you pose, you know," she admitted sheepishly, pulling back and helping him buckle on his shoulder armour. " _And_ getting a copy of your calendar photo."

Kaidan smirked and pulled on his single gauntlet, buckling it closed and pulling on his gloves. The way she watched him, the play of lust in her green eyes as they followed his movements, him made him glow with confidence. He _did_ know he was attractive, but he never felt it until she looked at him like this.

As though he was the only one in the world who turned her on.

He finished dressing and scooped her against him, planting a kiss on her mouth and catching her lower lip in his teeth; revelling in the heavenly feel of her body against his. She moaned and splayed her hands out against his chest, trembling as his hands roamed down her body. Someone cleared their throat from the doorway, and they broke apart with twin looks of embarrassment to find Javik watching them with a scowl.

"I thought you should know that they are ready for you upstairs." He strode in and placed his weapon down, watching them from the corner of his eyes.

Kaidan cleared his throat to cover his embarrassment. "Did uh, your photo shoot go okay, Javik?"

The surly prothean scoffed. "It was adequate." Abruptly, he laughed and looked over at them. "Though I hear from the Joker pilot that your turian's photoshoot was rather eventful. He said something about Garrus," Javik paused to chuckle evilly. "Something about him straddling the Thanix Canon in only his under garments. Heh. Stupid primitive."

The image of Garrus riding the Thanix Canon and waving a cowboy hat popped into his head, and Kaidan quickly flushed it out. He didn't need _that_ image sticking with him while he was about to go and try to look sexy.

"What about you? Did you have to pose?" Gina asked.

Javik shrugged. "I stood in front of the stars and they took pictures. They asked me to remove my breastplate and I told them I would remove their heads if they asked again. Foolish humans."

Kaidan shrugged, and he and Gina left the prothean to his own devices. In the Shuttle Bay the very naked James Vega was still posing with his rifle, but Cortez did a double take and his mouth fell open as they walked past. Kaidan fought hard not to smirk as other eyes turned in his direction, and James let out a whistle from behind him.

"Looking good, old man!" He called out, and Kaidan paused to give him the finger which only made James howl with laughter.

They made their way upstairs to the CIC where the photographer was waiting for them. Joker was gone, and Kaidan allowed himself to be led up to the galaxy map while they did lighting and test shots. He was aware of Gina watching him with Traynor off to one side, the two women occasionally giggling as he tried to follow the photographer's instructions. But no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to loosen up, and he became more and more awkward and uncomfortable as time went on.

Finally, the salarian threw his hands up in the air and stalked away.

"I can't work like this!" He ranted. "Everyone take five and we'll try again."

Gina whispered something to Traynor and the comms specialist made herself scare, so it was just the two of them left at the CIC. Kaidan turned the sniper rifle over in his hands, the unfamiliar gun cumbersome and awkward to hold. He looked up as Gina climbed the steps to the Galaxy Map and leaned up against the railing beside him, her easy going smile helping to chase the butterflies away.

"I suck at this," he muttered.

She shook her head. "No, you're super sexy. You just need to loosen up a little." Gina took the gun from his hold and ran her eyes up his body, a simmering heat in her gaze as she stepped closer and nudged his feet apart with one boot. "Try this, have your feet apart a little bit more and keep one foot slightly forward. Now cock your hip and keep this arm here, good. Oh, and hold your gun like this." She slung the sniper rifle over his shoulder and Kaidan hung onto it loosely.

"I feel silly," he complained, but quickly shut up as Gina bit her lip met his eyes.

She stepped closer and leaned into him, her lips brushing against his ear. "And now, just imagine you're standing in front of the bed in my cabin. I'm on the bed in black lace lingerie and black boots, my hands tied behind my back, _totally_ helpless and waiting for you to tell me what you'd like me to do to you. Or," he felt her tongue flick out along his earlobe. "What you'd like to do to _me._ "

Kaidan shivered as she pulled away, his body reacting as she ran her nails lightly down his arms and winked at him. She walked back to the elevators in a slow sexy strut, her ass perfectly framed in her BDU pants. Kaidan bit his lip and lowered his head as he watched her, a burning heat smouldering in his core as he imagined her on the bed waiting for him-

"Perfect!" The Salarian photographer leapt in front of him with his camera and began taking shots. "Brilliant! Much better! Let's try some other poses. Gun by your side and your other hand on your hip."

Kaidan obliged, moving his gaze from the photographer to Gina as he rearranged himself. She leaned against the elevators and watched him pose, her eyes wide and lips slightly parted. It sent a surge of lust through him to see her so entranced and, filled with a sense of purpose, he decided to try a pose of his own. Keeping his eyes on the Gina, he slid his hand lower, over the hard planes of his stomach muscles, and dipped his fingers teasingly into the waistband of his pants.

She let out a small squeak and with a smirk he turned his attention back to the photographer, enjoying the feel of Gina's eyes on him as he flared with biotics and posed.

The rest of the shoot passed quickly and before Kaidan knew it they were done, and he was ushered out of the CIC so they could move the lights to the next location. He sauntered down the Galaxy Map stairs and made his way to Gina, reaching around her to press the summon button for the elevator and briefly trapping her between his arms.

"Like what you see?" He asked as the doors opened with a _ping_ and he backed her in.

Gina nodded and let out a shaky breath. "Oh yeah."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow and pressed the button for the captain's cabin, sweeping her into his arms and gazing into her eyes. "Good," he said huskily and lowered his mouth to her ear in a mirror of what she'd done earlier. "Because I _really_ want to see you in that lingerie."

She let out a delighted sigh as he let his mouth drift down her neck, nibbling along her throat as she melted and moaned. He slid a leg between hers, barely noticing that the elevator had reached her cabin as he slipped his hands under her shirt and splayed them across her lower back.

God she was sexy.

"Actually," Gina gasped breathlessly as he nuzzled her neck. "There is something you should probably know. One tiny little thing."

"And what's that?" He asked in between kisses as his hands found the fastenings of her shirt and he began to undo them.

Gina caught his face in her hands and looked up at him, her eyes intense as she grinned mischievously. "I'm already wearing my lingerie."

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**A/N - I hope you enjoyed this. Feedback is always welcome!**


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